Monday, August 14, 2017

Blast from the Past

(The not-too-past. This was also sitting in draft since, I suppose, early to mid Feb. It's not really relevant now except that it catches up between 2016 and early 2017.)

I didn't forget about the 25-week challenge. I just felt like keeping it serious last post.

I have no idea where the green pants are, but I stuffed myself into some regular low-rider jeans for the photo shoot. You can actually see my belly spilling over the sides in the front-view shot.

Once again, first pregnancy: [oh fuck this, I don't know where that photo is. Suffice it to say I looked considerably younger and smaller, pregnancy-wise]

Fourth pregnancy:
Actually you can't see my belly spilling over the sides of my jeans because my hands are in the way. I tried to get better light so you could see some contours over the belly, but it didn't work out. You can't tell anything from this photo.

If you look closely on the right you can see a big blob of my shadow, which I believe is a more accurate depiction of my physical state. This photo is pretty complimentary; I don't feel this small in real life.

In case you were doing math, you might have figured out that if I'm 25 weeks now then I could not have been pregnant at the time of the post from early February 2016. Actually I was pregnant. A few days after that post I felt a little nauseated and decided to take another pregnancy test. It was positive. The funny thing is that I was sort of ambivalent about the result. I was still new at my job, I was feeling fit, and hitting a stride with parenting the two boys. I called the OB right away and told them about all the spotting, so I got an appointment right away also. There was something, but it wasn't a six-week embryo like it should have been. I was on "ectopic watch" for a week--not stressful at all--but when I returned for another ultrasound they determined there was an intrauterine pregnancy. Just no baby in it. The embryo never developed. My beta levels were rising, but not appropriately. I had a natural miscarriage one night at about 1 a.m., went back to sleep and woke up early in the morning to drive 2 hours for depositions with the worst cramps of my life. (FML. But anyway.) Watched my beta levels go down to 5, at which point I decided not to go back for another needle stick, even though the OB wanted them until under 4. I got my period back after not too much trouble, even though it was a little, shall we say, weird, for a few cycles. We protected for a month in April so that I wouldn't end up on a late-May Caribbean cruise in the throes of morning sickness (my work actually took all the attorneys and a guest on a weekend cruise! My first time!). Then I went back to the hated RE after 3-4 more months, and then got pregnant on my own on literally the last cycle before starting fertility meds. I didn't hate the RE this time around. I guess I was, sigh, ready. With the money we saved, I am going to throw myself a 40th birthday bash!

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