I guess I don't really blog anymore. Life is too crazy and other things are just more important. I'm quite addicted to TV now as well, and when all the things that really need to get done in the day are done, I just want to space out watching reality shows. I'm not proud.
I started writing this last November:
"It's been 6 years and now the grief is blurry too. I thought about Blue on Monday, August 7--the last date he was alive for the whole day in 2011. I was sad and cried a little on my way to work."
So I guess if it takes me three months to even write about the anniversary of Blue's death/birth, then I don't really blog anymore.
I want to keep the blog online, however, for anyone finding herself in the throes of babyloss. Someone at her lowest point. Someone who might feel like death is a better option. Because I've been there. I wanted to die but now I don't.
There's hope. I'm proof. I have three beautiful children and I am ever so grateful.
It WILL get better. You WILL get through this. It won't be easy. It may never be THAT easy. But if you just hold on, you will reach the point where the grief is blurry instead of blunt.
I promise.
(But I'm still crying as I write this.)
