Hopeful or Horrible

I remember reading blogs back in the "early days," and there were times when someone else's wonderful news--positive relationship, positive pregnancy test, etc.--would make me feel really horrible. Really horrible that nothing good was happening to me. And I had no idea when something good would happen--if ever. But then there were other times when I would feel very hopeful. Hopeful that good things could happen after a very bad thing. That you COULD get pregnant again after a miscarriage or medical termination. That I could get pregnant again.

I say this because I am about to reveal some really good news, of more than one variety, and I want to sort of warn you, gentle reader. (Okay, that's a joke, the "gentle reader" part. Didn't some novelist whose books we read in high school use that term?)

Just make sure to be in a hopeful mood, and not an other-people's-good-news-is-horrible state of mind before you come back for a serving of whatever it is I'm dishing up. And I really truly wish everyone hope and peace every day. But I am all for being realistic.

. . .

On an unrelated note...

I learned not long ago that a friend's wife had a scary miscarriage. She was more than 4 months along, and was high-risk due to some complications from her last delivery (a now 3-year-old son). I am not sure of the details. Her life was not threatened, but her health was and the outcome is that she cannot have more children. I am not very good friends with this guy, but we've known each other since we were kids and two of our mutual friends are very good friends with the both of us. I last saw him with his son at an event in February, and at that point I knew (i.e. thought) his wife was pregnant. He said she was parking the car and would be there, I should meet her. And I thought that the last thing I needed was to see his 8-months-pregnant wife. Well. She had lost the baby at this point. He didn't mention it. I understand why.

But when his mom told me weeks later what had happened, I called him and left a message with my condolences. I offered support if he or his wife wanted to talk, and I think I also said I knew of some helpful grief resources. I know everyone is different, and I didn't expect him to call me back. But I recently was thinking about this: we become a BLM and we look around and we don't see anyone who can help us. So we turn to the Internet to find support and find community, but here I've been here for her in the real world all along. We both just never knew it.

. . .

I was talking with a family friend today about how siblings differ from friends. About the ways you want your sister to be there for you...but it's your friends who come through. And we talked about the difference between real world support and online support. I needed both. I need both.

Thank you, bloggy friends and real world friends, for being there for me. I would not be where I am today without you. And 9 months ago, I sure as hell didn't think I could be where I am today. <choking on lump in my throat>

And get ready for some happy news!!!!