Saturday, April 26, 2014

Not All the Neurosis Is Gone

I'm 16 weeks pregnant. I did a bow pose in yoga this morning. Did I smoosh my baby? (Like, to death?) After the belly sequence the instructor said if anyone (ahem) was pregnant and he didn't know it, she probably didn't want to do bow pose. But I practice yoga frequently and I know the variation for bow pose is camel--which I hate usually--and honestly I just listened to my body and it felt fine and so I did a bow pose for 5 breaths. But now I'm kind of freaking out. I THINK I've felt the baby move since then? I have been feeling little jabs for a little over a week now, typically about once or twice per day. So not regularly. Not reliably enough to say for sure that I felt the baby move and everything is fine. But if I stop and think about it...I know it's fine. I'm barely showing and again, I didn't feel a speck of discomfort while getting into, out of, and while in the pose. I found this on Yoga Journal:
"In the second trimester, when the energy often feels enhanced by the pregnancy and the body, although swollen, is not uncomfortably large yet, stronger backbends may feel expansive and juicy. If you practiced Ustrasana (Camel Pose), low lunges, Setu Bandha Sarvangasana (Bridge Pose), or even Urdhva Dhanurasana (Backbend, Upward Facing Bow Pose) before you became pregnant, they can now be incorporated into a sequence."

I like it--expansive and juicy. Oh wait, that says upward facing bow pose, i.e. wheel. Damn it! Although regular bow pose "can feel invigorating" in the first trimester, which was only 3 weeks ago. I know there are many instructors who recommend no inversions while pregnant or menstruating, and frankly that just doesn't resonate with me at all. Headstands feel awesome when pregnant and can be done safely when they have been part of your practice for a long time. With my first pregnancy I was still lying on my belly and doing belly poses, albeit NOT bow pose, until 24 weeks. So anyway, here I am going on and on and on and f'ing on!

Would I be this neurotic about it if I hadn't lost my first baby? Although not because of yoga/activity/falling off my bike at 18 weeks (true story). I guess it's the thought that I could have done something wrong? But I really think all is well? If I could be sure that would be nice. Should I invite myself to the hospital for a very expensive heart-rate check? I have an appointment on Monday morning thankfully. Sigh...this is exhausting! I'm going to confine myself to bed rest and a feeding tube for the next 24 weeks. Right after I eat the raw milk cheese I bought today.


  1. It's hard to stay calm in a subsequent pregnancy after a loss. All you can do is be somewhat cautious and trust that everything is probably going to be fine. I know I was worried that I was squashing my baby when I was bending to tie up my shoes last time, but the OB said that would be no problem. I don't know about those yoga poses, but as long as it is not too extreme I'm sure it's fine. I'd avoid the inversions, though. At 34 weeks my baby was breech and I was driving myself crazy trying to figure out what I might have done that made him go that way, and how to get him back in the right position. He ended up flipping back, though, so it worked out fine.

  2. Sorry you're in the crazy-making stage! Those weeks when I *sometimes* but not reliably felt movement were so stressful for me! Hope this passes quickly.

    I kept eating cured meats and soft cheese through both of my pregnancies. They are too good to pass up!

  3. I am super liberal about everything in pregnancy. I live by the rule that if you feel well and comfortable you probably are. When my body was done with something physical, it let me know. enjoy your yoga and your cheese :)
    Are you finding out the sex? Just wondering.

  4. Thanks, ladies!! I went to the OB yesterday for a regular check up and all is well. I asked the OB if she did yoga and she was sort of apologetic about the fact that she did not. I explained about bow pose and when I said I probably held the pose for 20 seconds (5 breaths and not 5 minutes, what I think she thought I was going to say), she was like, "oh, don't worry about it!" She said as your uterus gets bigger, belly pressure could cause the uterus to press up against the vena cava, restricting blood flow to the baby. But that was obviously not going to be the case as of Saturday based on how far along I was. She recommended that I implement the "don't lie flat on your back" rule around 24 weeks.

    As we all knew, I didn't need to freak out. Live and learn, ha! And we are not finding out the sex this time. I've already kept myself from the information for over 4 weeks so it seems dumb to succumb now. 24 weeks to go!