Yesterday was a good day...for awhile. Today was a good day...for awhile. I guess I should be dividing the days into smaller time periods so I can have a whole good unit of time, instead of just a portion.
Which brings me to the concept of "should." How does it make you feel when you say you "should" do something? Or be something? Rather, how are you feeling about yourself when you say you should do or be something? JS tells me to be aware when I "should" all over myself. That it's not a nice way to treat yourself.
Somewhere in the midst of this conversation I told him that sometimes I feel like dying...but I know I shouldn't. And he said, well in that case, it's okay to should all over yourself. MP also told me a succinct text message: No dying for you.
I get it now. Whether it's thanks to the happy pills, or yesterday's little make-out sesh with a very attentive friend of a friend, or today's beautiful sunshine while I rode bikes and tasted wine with friends, I don't want to die. And not just because I shouldn't.