Monday, August 6, 2012

Grief Week Day One

Well, today was fine. I wore the blue star necklace that Mr. E gave me for Christmas. Work was busy and then there was lots to do after work. And also this beautiful sunset.

This is where we live. I told you it was crappy. But it's working out. Well, except for the fact that I rang my neighbor's doorbell at 6am on Saturday. I am not exaggerating. Let's just say it's all OK and I wasn't mean because it turns out her two young sons are both autistic and her husband bailed and helps out only two days a week and life sucks pretty bad for her so I shouldn't get upset about being woken up by loud, reverberating bass notes emanating into my apartment at 5:45 on my days off. But I digress.

Today I didn't feel sad until I took off the necklace, telling Mr. E that I was going to wear it every day this week. Something about the ritual...I don't know. It reminded me of the early days when little things meant so much and I really wanted them to be a certain way or I assigned a lot of meaning to something very small. We made some plans for Friday night, Blue's birthday, so I won't be spending it curled up on the couch. I mean, that's the plan.

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